S 2 Ep 2 | How Do I Make Aligned Choices When I’m Still Untangling?

Written By Courtney Koester

Have you ever asked yourself, “Am I doing this for me or because I don’t want to upset someone else?” In this episode, I talk about what it’s been like to move from old patterns of people-pleasing into deeper self-trust, and how murky that process can be. We talk about internal safety, the tension of not knowing yet, and why it’s okay if things aren’t clear right away. If you’re learning how to take care of yourself and still stay connected to others, without abandoning either, this is for you.

Key Topics Discussed:

0:00:00 – Intro

0:00:07 Self-Care Without Abandonment

0:00:42 Collective Care Starts with Internal Care

0:01:29 From People-Pleasing to Inner Safety

0:02:50 Pendulum Swings, Perfectionism, and the Space In-Between

0:04:47 Am I Doing This for Me or for You?

0:07:12 Learning to Live in the Grey

0:08:08 Exploring Truth in Layers, Not Labels

0:09:27 Untangling the Knot of People-Pleasing

0:11:50 The Temptation to Simplify and the Cost

0:14:02 From Rigidity to Flexibility: Noticing What’s True

0:16:55 Shifting the Story that Self-Care Is Selfish

0:17:35 Showing Up From Fullness, Not Extraction

0:18:28 Energetic Impact We Can’t Always Name

0:19:07 The Complexity of Loving Deeply Without Self-Abandonment

0:20:08 Holding Multiple Truths and Human Layers

0:21:22 Living into Discernment

0:24:03 Trusting Wisdom in Real Time

0:25:48 Letting It Be Messy, Unclear, and Still Meaningful

0:26:07 Listening to the Tension as Communication

Share Your Voice

What questions are you currently living into? What’s been on your heart or mind—something you’re navigating, exploring, or trying to make sense of in your life? I’d love to hear from you. Leave a voice message at the link below, and your question might be featured on a future episode of Living the Questions. Let’s create a space for open, thoughtful conversation together. Leave a message here: https://www.speakpipe.com/LivingTheQuestions

Book a 1:1 Conversation Session

Feeling the pull to explore something more deeply? These 1:1 conversation sessions are a space to bring your questions, challenges, or curiosities and be met with presence and care. Whether you’re seeking clarity, support, or simply room to reflect, we’ll journey through it together. Learn more + book a session: https://www.ckoesterinspired.com/conversation-sessions

Ready to take these conversations deeper?

Living the Questions isn’t just about exploring big ideas — it’s about living them. If you’re craving a space to untangle what’s true for you, witness + relate differently with old patterns, and step into a more aligned, embodied way of being, my Rehumanizing YOU coaching offerings might be your next step.

This is a space for deep inquiry, integration, and transformation — where we invite curiosity to become clarity and insight to alchemize into action.

Curious? Let’s explore together: ⁠https://www.ckoesterinspired.com/coaching-offerings⁠

Resources:


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Courtney Koester https://www.ckoesterinspired.com
Next

S 2 Ep 1 | What Does It Mean to Trust the Timing of Your Life?